Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Ham-Ageddon, A-Pork-Alypse is coming!

Ham-Ageddon, A-Pork-Alypse, whatever you want to call it, it’s coming! China has even set up a “strategic pork reserve.”

With the drought this past summer, corn and soybean crops have left slim pickins for the piggies. Some farmers sold out before the price of feed has had a chance to rise drastically, others are planning on the shortage to come. Studies have shown that animal fats are partly responsible for obesity and its related health problems. Research has also shown that it takes less food and water to feed a human in one year than it does to feed a pig. This is a good time for humans! Like Garth Brooks says, “Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” Bingo! Less pork, less cholesterol. Eat grain instead! I know, I know. 

The good news is that Jim Cramer says that Kellogg’s stock is going to soar because of the price of a box of Corn Flakes! Here’s my point; If you have been trying to lose weight and lower your cholesterol by eating less animal fat, now is a perfect opportunity to try. Maybe you could have bean burritos on pork chop night, or a giant salad with everything in it like sunflower seeds, garbanzo beans, beets! I wouldn’t feel good about hoarding pork strategically. That doesn’t feel right to me. As a vegetarian, this pork thing isn’t going to affect me. Nobody has mentioned what will happen to those soy products that I buy. Gotta go! I’m going to fill my freezer with those Garden Burgers made with soybeans and corn! Call me a hoarder, but get me to Whole Foods! 

Kelloggs stock? I'm watching it.

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