Thursday, April 29, 2010

Get What You Want By Building The Path

Socrates was the man of many questions. In his quest for answers and solutions, he would ask question after question that would lead to more questions until he was satisfied that he had gotten to the bottom of the dilemma.

What would the answer be if you were asked about the passion that lies hidden deep within your soul? Have you ever asked yourself what you would be doing if you could change your life and live your passion? More often a person will say; "I could never move there." Or; "I can't do that. My family would never agree to moving there." The problem is that they are speculating that the options are impossible. That speculation is what prevents many people from enjoying their dreams. Why? Sometimes people assume that they cannot afford something, or that it is out of the question before they explore all of their realistic options. I suggest that you go there by asking the questions, and discovering the answers!

Take a chance on your dreams. You've only got this one life. Your dreams might be realized if you would only believe in them. We sometimes feel as though we have no right to pursue our dreams because they might affect those around us, when, in fact, a change in attitude or latitude could possibly positively affect the entire family.

Socratic questioning is a form of coaching that encourages a person to move forward by answering their own personal inquiries. When you begin to become dissatisfied with a job, or a relationship, or even your own behavior, you should take a minute to check yourself. There are six main areas of life that a coach might ask for you to grade yourself. It would be nice to have a complete balance, because this is the sound beginning of deliberate and responsible change.

Ask yourself how you feel about the different areas of your life. If you don't get a clear answer, ask another question, and another. For example, if you could live anywhere, work anywhere, or be with anyone, what would it look like? Try to see it. If you can't see it because you think that it's impossible, humor yourself. Try again. How would it feel? How would YOU feel? If you want to lose weight, how do you see yourself? How would you feel? Would it change your relationships? The best way to get your answers and achieve your goals is to ask these questions. Then, no matter how difficult, start answering them.

The six areas of self exploration are; personal, spiritual, financial, professional, relationships, and wellness. So, starting with your personal self, how are you? On a 100% scale, how centered do you feel? If you wish that you could move to a different state, you need to consider that. What is it about your personal life that might not be right for you right now? How necessary is it to change? Or, maybe things are well. Great!

The next area is spiritual. It's not really necessary to attend a Sunday church service to be spiritual. Being kind to others, animals, and yourself is in itself a positive, spiritual attribute. Do you find quiet time? Maybe some meditation? Where do you draw your inspiration from? On a 100% scale, how spiritual do you think that you are? Having quiet time to talk to yourself and think about yourself is spiritual enough. Just a little time away from email and phones is good. Finding an inspirational source can be beneficial. This can be anything in nature like walking on the beach, or even riding a horse. If you feel as though you don't take enough quiet time, or if you have graded yourself low here, you might find time to reflect in the shower, or while driving. It's good to check in with yourself now and then.

The next area of your life that you should explore is financial. This is such a big one for most people today. So much has been lost, but a recovery plan should always be on your table. When your finances are under control, the other areas of your life seem to be more at ease. If you have graded yourself low here, now is a great time to start the recovery plan. This area will begin to recover on its own when you clear up other issues like your professional health. Remember, nothing is too small when you begin recovering financially. Just think if you had saved five dollars a paycheck ever since you started working. I know that I would be a millionaire. An EBay account where you make a buck at a time can be helpful. Just do something. If you are looking to live your passion and not have to have a job working for others, you should think like an entrepreneur, no matter how small. This is an area that I would ask my client to commit to a plan with a set goal. Finding a way to accumulate financial assets a little at a time can lead to a different way of thinking about money.

Now it's time to talk about the professional part of your life. If your dream is finding a way to make your living without a particular job that you perform for someone else, you will be glad that you have saved that five dollars a paycheck. This is a tough one in this economy. Most people are happy to have a job at all. This doesn't mean that you should keep it if it is not what you want to be doing. Maybe you will take baby steps, but if you are employed in a situation that does not fulfill you, now is a good time to work with a coach to redefine your talents. On a scale of 100%, where do you stand on this one? If you are the least bit dissatisfied, start designing a new plan! Sit down and redefine your applicable qualities. You can design a new resume to attract your ideal profession. Take a class, start part time as a helper, work as an intern, but start making it happen.

If your relationships are not 100%, you will need to start asking questions. Can you change these relationships? What will you have to say or do? Are you prepared to end a relationship if the other person or people are not willing to openly work on the areas that are not working for you? What would it be like if you were able to improve these relationships? Can you picture it?

And the last area of your life that you should take a look at is wellness. Of course there are things that you do like eat a donut on the way home from the grocery store that you wish that you didn't do. Maybe you need to chill out a little. If you refer to your spirituality, maybe getting outside more, meditation, yoga, something else relaxing... Maybe you can get a massage once or twice a month. What can you do to improve your wellness? Be specific, and be willing to set goals and make changes.

Once you have gone through this list of life's components, you will have a clear picture of how you feel about yourself, and your balance in life, or lack of. What an exciting time this will be for you. By making small changes and improvements on the areas of your life that you perceive as out of balance, one by one, they will all begin to tie together.

By writing a positive vision statement, and reading it to yourself each day, you might be surprised at how quickly your life will begin to improve. You need to set goals, and believe that they are attainable. Picture the photograph of yourself at the finish line. You will be happy, successful, healthy, and financially stable. Why not start today?

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