Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Well, I Never!

I thought that I was on a Punk or Candid Camera show because this certainly wasn't happening to me FOR REAL ... or, was it?

Time to change the oil on my mini-van. Actually, a couple of thousand miles over, but with this economy, I've got ink cartridges to buy, groceries, high cobra payments, etc., so the oil change had to wait until long after Christmas.

I packed my books and laptop for the long sit in the waiting room at the lube place, and found a chair for waiting where I could see out into the shop. I like to know how the car is doing in the long line.

First, a man and his daughter came in and sat next to me. I think that I knew them from Aspen, so I said "hello." Next, comes a middle aged woman. I might have guessed that she would be the antagonist in the story. Her costume showed a plump body, huge sunglasses (still worn indoors), and a basket type purse with artificial fruit on the top. She kept asking the counter person "how much longer?"

By the time I and the Aspen people sitting next to me realized that this woman was high maintenance and self centered, it happened. She took her nail clippers out of her Carmen Miranda handbag and started snipping her nails!  When the first snip landed on my jeans, I flicked it off with my index finger. Then, the second snip flew into the keyboard of my laptop. Are you kidding me? If I would have had a can of air, I would have blown her fingernail out of my keyboard and back in her direction.

I have a sense of humor, and since I thought that I knew the Aspen people, I was sure that somebody had set this up and I was on camera. The plan was that I would go ballistic and that the video of the woman with the mini van who went gonzo in a lube shop in Grand Junction, Colorado would go viral! I'd be on the evening news like "balloon boy."

The truth is, it wasn't a setup. No sooner had she put her snips back into her fruit studded handbag did she get up and again started asking "how much longer?"

The sad truth is that there are hoggish, high maintenance, rude, ignorant people in our midst flinging their DNA around the room, and it's a crime to challenge them like we'd like to, or I would have physically assaulted this woman on the spot.

Please donate. One day I'm going to need bail.

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